House finds one of those imaginary cases that happen when he's bored - and turns it into a real case. Hanna has CIPA (Congenital Insensitivity to Pain) - and also a diagnosis. But when things go wrong, the ducklings dive into the tests. Except that trying to force a kid that can't feel pain to do things is kinda hard. Might need to break an arm...
The Game: "Let's go break her arm". The aim: get the patient in the chair.
House: Hi again. I'm sure I can say this without being condescending, but then you'd get the false impression that I respect you so – you're a kid, you're scared, you're stalling. Grow up.1 to Hanna. (Hanna:1 House:0).
Hannah: I'm not scared. I'm never scared.
House: See? How juvenile was that? You can't feel pain. Nothing left but pleasure. Why don't you tell me how wonderful that is?
Hannah: It sucks.
House: Better than being in pain all the time. Get in the chair.
Hannah: Every morning I have to check my eyes to make sure I didn't scratch a cornea in my sleep.
House: Oh God, stop. I'm in a pool of tears here.
Hannah: I can't cry.1 to House. His liver isn't shot yet? (Hanna:1 House:1).
House: Neither can I. Every morning I check my eyes for jaundice in case the Vicodin's finally shot my liver.
So, they both have pretty serious issues with their eyes....
Hannah: I can't run anywhere without examining all my toes for swelling.Hmm... Didn't House run quite a bit at one stage? Ha, running beats not running - 1 to House (Hanna:1 House:2).
House: I can't run.
Hannah: Boys can't hold me for too long because I can overheat.I'd give a point to House for having to pay, but well... he has to pay. (Hanna:2 House:2).
House: Girls can't hold me for too long because I only pay for an hour.
Hannah: I need an alarm on my watch to remind me to go to the bathroom. You know how many humiliating experiences before I thought of that.Knowing is always better than not knowing. (Hanna:3 House:2).
House: The bathroom's 50 feet from my office. Every drink of water I weigh the pros and cons.
Hannah: After everything I do, I self-check: Mouth, tongue, gums for cuts. Count teeth, check temperature. Fingers, toes and joints for swelling, skin for bruises.... some would say House brought that on himself. (Hanna:3 House:3). House sedates her when she shows him where she was burnt as a kid.
House: I got shot.
[...]Ah, there it is. So, final score.... 3 all. Hmm... I thought it might come out differently. I guess a lack of pain can be a bad thing. You don't know what pain's like, so nothing to compare it to. Bad for knowing where physical boundaries are. But too much pain is obviously debilitating.
Cameron: You weren't shot because of leg pain, you were shot because you're a jerk.
House: Some think the two are connected.
One more Housism before I wrap up:
Wilson: Why are you here?
House: I still haven’t figured out why.
Wilson: No, I meant here. In my office.
Thanks for the transcript Twistv.